TIAs and Aphasia

TIAs and Aphasia are not to be confused with Tiaras and Asparagus. TIAs and Aphasia are serious indications of something going wrong in your brain. Let me ask a couple of questions to put this in context. Have you ever found yourself short of words?  At a loss for words?  Have you ever had trouble thinking of the right word, or any word that will get your thought across?  And when you couldn’t string together three or four words that you could actually say, not even an “F” bomb, did you panic? That’s aphasia!  What happened?  Were you having a … Continue reading TIAs and Aphasia

Weaponizing Language; Using the "D" word

We learn very early in life how to weaponize language. School yard taunts, the verbal abuse we hurl at our siblings and our peers, the calculated assaults by our bullies begin to show us how language can be a weapon. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. “ –English language childhood rhyme How very wrong we are. Missteps and misuse of language can have serious consequences and unforeseen repercussions. Current culture shows us how language can be politicized and weaponized. Here are a couple of links to sites that discuss it; Weaponizing language historically … Continue reading Weaponizing Language; Using the "D" word

Stroke Recovery Distress

The most emotionally devastating emotional pivotal point in stroke recovery is the moment when you discover what’s been truly lost and the realization that its not coming back. For family and friends this is a heartbreaking ‘call to action’ that so many are not equipped to answer. For the stroke victim this is a devastating epiphany. Things will never be the same again. A simple truth, yes, however, becoming aware of it and knowing it to be true shapes the future. Continue reading Stroke Recovery Distress

Self medicating and unilateral changes to dosages=dumb move

I was told recently about a woman who had tried to ween herself off her anti-depressants without consulting her doctor.  There were consequences.  She slipped back into a dark hole from which it took her a long time to find her way back into the light.  She resumed taking her meds, and then discussed it with her physician.  Her physician was kind, but blunt.  If you were a diabetic would you decide that you felt well enough to discontinue taking your insulin?  Some forms of depression are the same.  You don’t discontinue something that is working to restore and maintain … Continue reading Self medicating and unilateral changes to dosages=dumb move

Just a speed-bump, not a full stop

I took a break from my ‘day’ job, and the re-deployment effort for this blog for a while there.  Why?  Because for a while there, it wasn’t coming as easily and the white noise was overwhelming. What wasn’t coming easily? ; My ability to get things done from a cognitive point of view.  Huh?  What does that mean? Here’s a somewhat snooty answer to the question “What wasn’t coming easily?”: Responding to complicated instructions with a sense of comfort, and in a demonstrably confident, repeatable, concise, clean manner was becoming clumsy; Holding up my end of a detailed conversation, assimilating … Continue reading Just a speed-bump, not a full stop

Behaviour Amplifications as a result of stroke

I’m just giving some serious thought to the amplified behaviors I’ve experienced as a result of my hemorrhagic stroke and the embolization used to stop the bleed in my brain. I’m still fighting some of those amplified behaviors, desperately working to wrestle the bad ones into submission while trying to coax the good ones  into becoming the representative ‘me’ which the real me hides behind. I’ve tried to find some sage articles on the subject that may be lurking in the corridors of the internet, but without a lot of success. There seems to be a passing nod of acknowledgement  and validation  given … Continue reading Behaviour Amplifications as a result of stroke

Outside looking in…

I have these moments when I feel like I’m on the outside of my life, looking in… a peeping-tom trying to catch glimpses of the real me, and the real parts of my life. I sometimes imagine that I am walking along a darkened street, glancing in the windows of the houses I pass, the windows framing the activities of life and living.  I wait for the bits where its me doing the living, but it feels like they are few and far between.  I generally feel disconnected from forward momentum of my life. I’m not sure when this started … Continue reading Outside looking in…

Be patient with your recovery; take the time!

Be patient.  It takes time to come back from any sort of brain injury,  even if its just to find the point of balance that becomes your ‘new normal’. I fought like hell to get back to work after my haemorrhagic stroke.  I couldn’t sit at home, essentially feeling like I was under house arrest, prevented from contributing to the world and the environment I had been helping to to shape.  I wanted to go back to work.  I was bound and determined to demonstrate that there was nothing significantly different about me, my memory or my cognitive abilities.  I fought … Continue reading Be patient with your recovery; take the time!

Long term Memory is fine…

Yes, what has happened recently is classed as a form of stroke;  hemorrhagic. This was a ‘bleed’ rather than a clot… so what happened was that blood pooled in my brain and caused a bit of bruising.  As of this past Friday’s CT scan, the blood has been absorbed, most of the swelling has gone down, and there is some minimal residual bruising (edema).But let me just assure my friends and acquaintances that my memory is functioning nearly perfectly.  I still remember where all the bodies are buried, and what shoes you were wearing at the time…. 😉 Continue reading Long term Memory is fine…

Memory is a complicated thing

Lately I’ve become fascinated by ‘memory’ and how it seems to work…. or not work in my case. I’ve been reading some interesting books and magazine articles where the memories of the authors are so rich in detail that I actually question my own memories, or the authors’ truthfulness. Why is it, for instance, that I can’t remember what my favourite shirt was when I was six years old, and these writers can? Or better still, why is it that they remember every gory detail about their treatments (yes, I’ve been reading cancer stuff, again) and I don’t? My memory … Continue reading Memory is a complicated thing