Kinda off balance today. I’m actually feeling really good on a physical level. My jaw is no where near as painful, although it still feels like part of it is packed with cotton batting. My shoulder is ‘tight’, but no pain. And, yes, there is some discomfort there, but it sure feels much better. I’m hitting the Imodium pretty hard to keep the c. Diff from totally disrupting my day. And of course, the c.Diff and the ‘effects’ do affect my appetite, so I continue to lose weight… not a good thing this close to starting radiation and chemo therapy.But … Continue reading Off balance…

With Christmas 2007 behind us (and what a lovely Christmas Day it was!) we’re back to planning the next step in the campaign against the cancer. This afternoon we spent time in a chemotherapy education session at the Cross Cancer Institute with “Nurse Elizabeth”.One of the things that we noticed was the complete lack of ostentation. There is no money, no privilege on display there.There was an immaculately dressed woman at the centre of an adult family of five others, and quite honestly, until she pulled out one of the letters/agendas, I was guessing that it was one of the … Continue reading

I received another three teddy bears by mail late yesterday. First was a bear from our dear friend Elaine in Ontario wearing the colours and t-shirt of the college that she works for. Second was from my mother-in-law and one of the sisters-in-law; its a British Open 2008 bear, complete with a tiny sweater with the logos knit right into it! What a fabulous bear! We intend to go to the Open this July, and the bear is just one more reminder. Bear number three comes to us from Scott and Cheryl in Vancouver, and it is a darling! Around … Continue reading Trying to understand the nature of despair…

In a previous post, I mentioned some of the Demons that come, unbidden, to torment as you try to work through the implications of the cancer and its treatment. Well, in my case the number of things that are stacking up, waiting in the wings for their moment to irritate us seems to be getting downright silly.On Monday, Gail was off to the oral surgeon to start work on her implants to rebuild/replace her deteriorating teeth. While removing a broken tooth, the surgeon discovered a second broken tooth that had to be removed. They then built a temporary plate so … Continue reading When It Rains…

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I’m wrestling with the best way to present my experience with oropharyngeal carcinoma to those who may get some benefit from it. What would be the best vehicle? This blog? I’m not so sure any more. A properly configured website? Maybe. A book? Well, yes, but later when its all done. But as an active record, I suspect that building and maintaining a website in concert with this blog would be better than the simple random ramblings from the blog. For instance, with a website, I can go back and tell the story of the surgery in a presentational manner … Continue reading Presenting my experiences to the world….

I caught myself doing something odd tonight; pushing people who care for me away to arm’s length. I’m not entirely sure where this is coming from, although I do know that I am pulling more and more into myself as I ready, intellectually, for the next phase of my treatments. Is this why I’m having a bit of difficultly relating to folks? Or am I just tired of talking about the surgery? the surgery is only one visible aspect of what needs to be done here. Sure, its a great catastrophic view of nature of the cancer, but it is … Continue reading