The thing about reconnecting with old friends after a significant time out of touch is that they help you to remember other ‘wheres’ and other ‘whens’. The challenge about reconnecting with old friends after a significant time out of touch is that they help you to remember other ‘wheres’ and other ‘whens’ with startling clarity. As the expression goes, ‘the truth will out’!
I’m sitting in Calgary this morning, in my sister’s living room, waiting until its time to go pick up G. from the airport. She is returning from a three week visit to her family in the UK. And no, I didn’t go. I only go every other trip so the family doesn’t have to deal with me each time, and can focus on G. And its also so I don’t have to deal with the family… 😉 its not always a holiday, and I do have so few days each year.
I came down to Calgary yesterday to finish off the work we started on K’s motorcycle last weekend. And it all worked. It started. I got to ride it from the designated storage area to its summer home. All went well.
Then we had dinner with an old friend… a gentleman that I originally met at university, and worked with at the Citadel. K did dinner at her townhouse. And we had a lovely time. It was the conversation that gave rise to my opening statements.
We talked about the interesting, and good things that we had done while working together, or at least within each other’s orbits. For instance, I had forgotten that he was one of the three of us who worked with Richard Rose to establish the Necessary Angel Theatre Company. I had forgotten that it was his wife at the time who found the T.S. Eliot quote from which we pulled the name… But then we also moved on to more unpleasant memories, like the time I had to tell him that he was persona non grata at the theatre we worked at; he became the scapegoat for an ugly communication breakdown. And of course, all sorts of other unpleasant memories came flooding back.
And we talked about where our classmates are, and others we have known. Fun little factoids, like the mean IQ of those in theatre vs. other professions and disciplines were bandied about. And of course, whenever talk about the lifestyle that is theatre (or any performance based culture, be it dance, or film, or tv) comes up, there is always a certain amount of time devoted to the agonies of the so many performers, their individual tortures, and torturers. And of course, as we get older, the conversation inevitably turns to the rate of survival. My cancer was never discussed (I do get very bored with it very quickly), but we did talk about Larry Yachimec’s lung cancer, his family and the challenge they face, and Alan Duluka’s (spelling?) ongoing battle with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
As I observed earlier, meeting up with someone like Brian again, after so much time, brings a startling clarity to the past. It is not always welcome. It is, however, very necessary in order to continue moving forward with a life, and not dwelling on a poorly remembered past constructed entirely of ‘glory days’ reminiscences.