We should probably all stop and reflect, for a moment, on the rhythms that make up our lives, that guide and direct our choices and interactions, paying special attention to the outside forces that push and pull us in different directions, often into corners for us to fight our way out of, or that leave us stranded in the middle of wide open expanses, desperate for some sort of signpost to point us forward…

Today is Day Eight of the chemo/radiation cycle. And this morning, I actually feel pretty good. Slightly annoyed by the fact that butter slathered, maple syrup dripping buckwheat wafer tasted bitter, but bouyed by the other fact that I am HUNGRY! Woo Hoo!

Yesterday was the day of change. I awoke with a calm stomach. I travelled to radiation with hardly a belch… I arrived home later in the morning and ordered Wendy’s Chili and a large coke for lunch (now that was a conversation with Gail that you’re better off not having been part of!) and actually ate and drank it all with no adverse reactions…

During the travel time Thursday and Friday, my escort had been JoAnna D. JoAnna lost her Robert to liver cancer a little over a year ago, after a pretty messy two years. Our time together has been spent talking about silliness mixed with the realities of the disease treatment. One of the things that she told me was that her family had identified a rhythm to what Robert was going through. They were able to say that x number of days after chemo, he would be sick. Another x number of days and he would get crazy. So many more days, and he’d be grumpy, and so on.

My observation for those of you who are trying to track me goes something like this:

Day One of the Chemo Cycle: fatigue and general blah hidden behind false bravado.
Day Two: Sicker ‘n a dog. Still energetic enough to run to bathroom.
Day Three; Sicker ‘n a dog, part 2. The hiccups are totally debilitating. More like a quick shuffle to the bathroom.
Day Three; Sick as a cat with a hairball. Everything that was already in is on its way out. Where’s my bucket?
Day Four; Not interested in anything or anybody
Day Five; Leave me alone, dammit.
Day Six; Okay, maybe I can do this
Day Seven: Damn, but I’m hungry.

Right, so a seven day cycle seems to be what we have to look forward to with the next go ’round. We start the chemo on February 20, 2008, and then again 21(ish) days later. With that sort of schedule, I don’t see myself effectively back to work before the end of March… add another damn! to my accumulating list. The other thing that does concern me is that the chemo is midweek. That doesn’t give me the two day weekend headstart before I need to go back to the Cross for radiation. That bucket could get quite the workout if we can’t get the anti-nausea meds stabilized really quickly.