This is a tough one. In the last year I’ve lost my mother and quite recently my father. I’ve been thinking that we’re spending way to much time considering our own mortality without thinking about the fragility of those around us.
My mom died of pancreatic cancer which she concealed from us until we had sorted out a new home that was to be the framework for a renewed life for her and my dad in what turned out to be a pretty special retirement community. She died on the Saturday we moved them from their home to the new residence. She was confident that my dad would be looked after, so she could let go. Which she did.
My dad recently had a massive stroke, and then, with the permission of his priest and with my sister at his side, he let go and slipped away.
We forget that generation is reaching its ‘best before’ date, and need a new level of accomodation. We must be generous, attentive and diligent with and for them as they have been for us through our lives. And this is so very poignant for me given the physical challenges I have survived with their help and support. We mustn’t assume that generation will always be there, or that they will always manage well.
I have an aunt, my father’s sister, who I worry about.
My darling wife’s mother flourishes. She is my father’s contemporary.
This is going to get tougher.