Now that I’ve returned to work in what is reputed to be record time, I wonder why some cancer patients do what I’ve done, and some simply can’t…

Okay, staging of the disease does have a lot to do with it. And, location and physical impact of the disease. Ya, and the whole ‘support network’ thing does, as well. But if you baseline my situation and use it as a measuring stick to find others on the same level, its still very surprising how many people just can’t seem to get on with the business of living. (By the way, major kudos to the infrastructure that supports the fight against breast cancer… it promotes an attitude that I’ve not noticed in the other cancer groups!)

But I’m really starting to think that knowing that the cancer and its treatments are merely a blip on the radar, a moment in time that one will work through one way or another is the key to quick turnaround and survival. One approach to forcing the cancer to become that ‘moment in time’ is to be totally consumed, emotionally and intellectually, by the disease as you try to fight to ensure it doesn’t consume you physically. For me, ‘that way madness lies’. (Gee, did I get that quote right? Hamlet, right?) I can’t allow the cancer to be the only focus, ’cause then I’d be headed towards a form of intellectual suicide… gotta keep the dreaming going. And to make the dreaming effective, some of the dreams have to come to fruition, so they must become goals.

The goals must be attainable, at some level at least, and within a shortened time frame. There needs to be some level of correlation between the therapies and the achievement of the goals. They need to be adjustable, as well. I set some goals at the beginning of all of this, and then reviewed and revised as I learned more about what my body would stand. For instance, I decided that I would be out of hospital within 10 days from the surgery. I also desperately wanted to go to the Pink Elephant conference in Vegas in February. If we were only coping with the surgical fallout, we would have made it… I just didn’t understand enough about the chemo and radiation therapies, their schedule and physical impact when I set that goal. But the thought of ‘trying’ made some of the transition to wellness that much easier and quicker.

So, I’m back to work well within the parameters of the goal I set for myself. I’m not really comfortable with my physical appearance, but I can’t let that keep me housebound. I’m out and about, and being productive! That’s the important part…
I passed my motorcycle license; a trade off for the Coastal Navigation course.
I will be picking up my new motorcycle next week; I won’t be sailing this summer, and definitely won’t be buying a boat.
I will have a full beard by September. Of course, the radiation therapy may have already made that decision for me. I do have the framework of a mustache which gives me hope…
I will gain back 20 pounds by August. This one is about personal discipline… and fighting through the problems with my taste buds and my rebellious tongue.
The airline tickets for our trip to the UK have been purchased.

If you have a target, a short term goal to work towards, dealing with the cancer seems to be easier.

And there is ,of the course, the long term goal of ‘survival’…