Chemo; Delayed again!

Yes, my final chemo treatment has been delayed again. The doctor assures me its from no fault of mine, but is directly attributable to the cisplatin, the chemo drug. We talked last time about the blood count numbers, and how we went from a 2.2 to 2.0 to 1.5 and then 1.2 last week that forced the initial delay. Well, this week the count was down to 0.9! The good doctor did say that its not dangerous until 0.5.

Ya, but the delay is a bit depressing. My timelines are completely shot. I have no real idea what to expect from here on out.

The doctor suggested that they might just forget about the next course of chemo. She didn’t offer any information/strategy for what they will do if the blood count is low and they still want to do the treatment, however. Are we looking at hospitalization? Or what? It won’t break my heart if they decide to let the final chemo go… afterall, it was designed to be used in conjunction with the radiation therapy. Being this far beyond radiation may not be worth the effort. The chemo won’t have anything to work with… The doctor is looking at all the options and we’ll find on Easter Monday which option she thinks is best for me.

It is possible that I could be back to work before mid April. It is possible that I won’t get back to work before the end of April.

I pointed out to Dr. Koski that my hearing is going a bit weird (the tinnitus that I mentioned before, and some definite frequency sensitivity loss), and she got quite concerned. If they do the next chemo, they will definitely change the cisplatin for something else. And yes, this particular form of chemotherapy drug can cause hearing nerve damage. But then again, so can the radiation therapy. We won’t know for some time if the damage will reverse itself. This upsets me, a lot. I had brilliant hearing going in to this. I want that hearing back.

Other than that, my appetite is returning in gentle stages, although the tastebuds are still in disarray. My throat is healing from the effects of both the surgery and the radiation therapy, significantly reducing the sensitivity of the ‘gag reflex’. Basically, I’m keeping down everything I can get down. The pain in my throat when I swallow is diminishing, almost on a daily basis. I am still losing weight, albeit at a much slower rate, largely because I am not maintaining the caloric intake. I need to start seriously rethinking the diet and monitoring my intake of calories and proteins.

I am alternating amongst anger, frustration and depression. I’ve determined that I need some significant retail therapy. There is no point in buying a boat this far from the ocean, or at least not this spring, and a small Wabumin sized boat just won’t cut it. So, damn it, I’m going to buy a motorcycle.

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